You're comparing us to THEM?! (Love like the movies)

As promised, I am answering questions you're asking. Gabe asked a super good one: "If what girls really need is a strong dependable man, why do some girls love chick flicks where the guy and the girl get in these big heated fights. Do they long for that??" Great question! So great, in fact, that I wanted to take my time in answering it. So here you go!

There are a few reasons girls love the big fight scenes in chick flicks. NOTE: none of those reasons is because she wants to be miserable, fight all of the time, or be with a guy who picks fights with her or is just plain bad news (and here's my two cents on THAT). These reasons are not listed in any particular order.

1. We love the drama. Movies/musicals/plays/dramas/etc excite the psyche. They are entertaining, and that is precisely why they call it the entertainment industry. It is a story, with a building tension, leading to a climactic fight. If the writers did their job right, the viewer has gotten to know the characters, and if out of curiosity than nothing else, we want to know what happens! And as much as they might hate to admit it, I'm willing to bet that at high percentage of guys at least are a little curious how movies like that end.

2. We can relate. Well, to some extent, depending on the person being entertained and the story that is being told. Often times great stories mirror situations that on some level are real, and the conflicts are situations real people experience or fear.

3. We see characters they love (and in romcoms, characters they love together) argue about something that threatens to tear them apart. In the movies (at least of this nature), the couple works it out and still lives happily ever after, even though there might be lingering issues, a little collateral damage, or repercussions of their irrational emotional actions/mistakes. They are things the couple will have to work on. Overall, they give us HOPE that we can work things out on our own lives, that some mountains are not too big, and that obstacles aren't always the end.

We want to be happy and we enjoy seeing others happy, even if on some deep/subconscious/shallow level, we are living vicariously through them. There is a danger there that these movies can romanticize conflict and can have a subtle influence over real-life experiences, but we must not lose our own sense of reality in real-life conflicts. Instead, we keep in mind common threads that make real life relationships/friendships work and last, and hopefully in the heat of those moments, we can understand the difference between love in the movies and love that is real, raw, and rewarding.

Seek Holiness Before Seeking a Spouse

Single Life column by Catholic singer-songwriter 
Jackie Francois: From our July 29 issue
by JACKIE FRANCOIS 07/28/2012

– Jackie Francois Facebook

I really enjoy being single — until someone tells me they want me to date their kin in order for me to bring them back to the Church.

Sometimes I want to respond with, “Hey lady, I don’t flirt to convert!”

It seems, though, that God has granted me the gift of slow wit in the most inopportune times.

When people find out I’m single, they either 1) try to set me up (either with another supposedly pitiful single person or with a convent), 2) tell me how lucky I am to be avoiding marriage or 3) assume I have an incurable disease.

I don’t mind the setter-uppers; they mean well and often want me to enjoy the same bliss they have experienced in their vocation. The jaded marriage-avoiders are another bunch, though. Many times they pressure me to live the pleasures of intimacy without the levels of commitment. They especially flip out when I tell them that I’m a 28-year-old virgin striving to live a life of chastity, because, as they tell me, I “have missed out on life.” The “incurable diseasers” who condescendingly ask, “Why aren’t you married, yet?!” figure that if I’m still single in my late 20s, there must be something wrong with me.

Regardless of these assumptions and reactions, I have never felt more joy or peace in my life than I feel now in the midst of my young-adult single life.

Truthfully, it has taken me years of faith, humility and dating to get to a place where I know that God alone satisfies the yearnings of my heart to love and be loved. God alone is the one for whom my heart longs.

Even though I would like to get married someday, God is the one who I want more than anything. If God called me to give up a husband or family for the sake of the Kingdom, I would.

When there are days that I begin to idolize marriage as the ultimate fulfillment of this life, I remind myself of my God-directed priorities.

If I died tomorrow, would I be happy? Of course! I would be so excited to be with the One whom my heart loves (especially after an excruciatingly purifying time in purgatory, I’m sure).

Obviously, I am not perfect and am still learning how to navigate my way through single life, figuring out how to date properly, wanting the best for others (even if it means being rejected), and practicing what I preach — all the while trying to draw closer to the heart of God in the busyness of everyday life.

My hope for single people who are discerning is that they seek holiness before seeking a spouse, knowing that Jesus the Bridegroom gives a peace and joy that no person on this earth could ever give.

I hope that they practice enjoying the present, since every state of life brings with it trials and sacrifices that train us in virtue and prepare us for heaven.

Lastly, I hope they become witnesses to a twisted culture that scoffs at virtues like purity, chastity, modesty and self-control (see Philippians 2:13-14). Our world surely needs that bold witness.

Jackie Francois is a Catholic singer and songwriter.
Find her music online at
JackieFrancois.com.

Read more: http://www.ncregister.com/daily-news/seek-holiness-before-seeking-a-spouse/#ixzz227lYj6OO