Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Day 1 (delayed post)


I am a single with a purpose. Since my first relationship 7 years ago, I have never been voluntarily single for more than a few months. Seven whole years of always having someone or wishing that I had someone is a long time and takes quite a toll on the heart, even after just a few months. In an effort to truly "discover myself," I have given up dating for one year. That's right: 365 days of single-ness. When the idea first occurred to me I wasn't very fond of it, but the more I thought about it the more it grew on me. You see, when people want to learn about themselves they have to sort of investigate themselves, they need to rid themselves of distractions. They turn off the music, back away from the crowds, and maybe even visit some serene setting in nature. That is what this year is for me. 


Until recently I have never spent more than a couple of days totally by myself anyways, and although it was uncomfortable, I turned out all right. And now I am not afraid of being alone. I am privileged and honored to have many beautiful friends who are in happy healthy relationships, sharing wonderful stories of recent engagements, and glowing newlyweds. I reassure my single friends that there is no reason to rush into anything and not to settle for anything less than they deserve. I was thinking about it and if I want to keep from being anything a hypocrite, I need to take a taste of my own medicine. If I really mean these things I need to live it, not just talk the talk.


This year is for me. I am taking some due time to figure out myself, for goodness sake. If you ask me, it's about time. I am confident that this is the best time for me to start; if I would have tried any earlier, I would not have had the strength to not just survive--thrive! I officially began on my birthday, August 16th after a couple of weeks of careful discernment. Thus, the 16th will mark the anniversary of each month of living my life to the fullest in a whole new way. I refuse to treat my year of single-ness as a countdown, because it is not about falling in love with the man I will eventually marry after all of this is through or anything like that--that is not the point. I am counting up because what matters now is what I do now.


Here we go.

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