Sunday, September 11, 2011

Princes & Frogs

Little words, big value. If there's one thing I learned in my years of dating and not-dating, it's that things are never as you expect them to be. You'll be pleasantly surprised and terribly disappointed and everything in between. But these opposite ends of the scale should not fluctuate often, and hopefully tend towards the happier end. It is hard to stay strong in times of weakness and loneliness, but it will all turn out in the end and you'll look back later and say, "That felt terrible at the time but now I can see that it led me to (insert amazing experience here). Such is the case with many broken hearts: there is a greater plan at work, led by a master planner. If you're starving, trash might seem like better than nothing, at least to get you by, but it always turns out to be poison, leaving you worse off than before. If you have a choice, be patient until it is blatantly obvious that the person in question will do anything to help you become the best version of yourself, even if that means sacrificing a life with you.

This message was creatively phrased by the band Superchic[k] in the following (and fitting) way:

You hate men is what you say and I understand how you feel that way
All girls dream of a fairy tale
But what you've got's like a used car salesman
Trying to conceal what's wrong behind a smile and the song
And I'm not saying that boys are not like that
But I think you should know 
That some of us will grow
Because. . . 

All princes start as frogs and all gentlemen as dogs
Just wait till its plain to see
What we're growing up to be
Cause Some frogs will still be frogs
And Some dogs will still be dogs
Some boys could become men
Just don't kiss us 'til then.

You found him is what you say
And we all want you to feel that way
But the frog you've got seems cute enough to kiss
And maybe frogs seem like that's all their is
But just because you haven't found your prince yet
Doesn't mean you're still not a princess
And what if if your prince comes riding in
While you're kissin' a frog what's he gonna think then
So look into his eyes
Are you a princess or a fly?

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Time for a milestone

Time to begin again
Revaluate who I really am

I give everything I surrender
To whatever you're doing inside of me 
It feels like chaos somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something heavenly

Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

It is not a ghost

Jesus made the disciples get into a boat and precede him to the other side of the sea, while he dismissed the crowds. After doing so, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray. When it was evening he was there alone.

Meanwhile the boat, already a few miles offshore, was being tossed about by the waves, for the wind was against it. During the fourth watch of the night, he came toward them, walking on the sea. When the disciples saw him walking on the sea they were terrified. "It is a ghost," they said, and they cried out in fear. At once Jesus spoke to them, "Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid."

Peter said to him in reply, "Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water." He said, "Come." Peter got out of the boat and began to walk on the water toward Jesus. But when he saw how strong the wind was he became frightened; and beginning to sink he cried out, "Lord, save me!" Immediately Jesus stretched out his hand and caught him, and said to him, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?"

After they got into the boat, the wind died down. Those who where on the boat did him homage by saying, "Truly, you are the Son of God."

Day 1 (delayed post)

I am a single with a purpose. Since my first relationship 7 years ago, I have never been voluntarily single for more than a few months. Seven whole years of always having someone or wishing that I had someone is a long time and takes quite a toll on the heart, even after just a few months. In an effort to truly "discover myself," I have given up dating for one year. That's right: 365 days of single-ness. When the idea first occurred to me I wasn't very fond of it, but the more I thought about it the more it grew on me. You see, when people want to learn about themselves they have to sort of investigate themselves, they need to rid themselves of distractions. They turn off the music, back away from the crowds, and maybe even visit some serene setting in nature. That is what this year is for me. 

Until recently I have never spent more than a couple of days totally by myself anyways, and although it was uncomfortable, I turned out all right. And now I am not afraid of being alone. I am privileged and honored to have many beautiful friends who are in happy healthy relationships, sharing wonderful stories of recent engagements, and glowing newlyweds. I reassure my single friends that there is no reason to rush into anything and not to settle for anything less than they deserve. I was thinking about it and if I want to keep from being anything a hypocrite, I need to take a taste of my own medicine. If I really mean these things I need to live it, not just talk the talk.

This year is for me. I am taking some due time to figure out myself, for goodness sake. If you ask me, it's about time. I am confident that this is the best time for me to start; if I would have tried any earlier, I would not have had the strength to not just survive--thrive! I officially began on my birthday, August 16th after a couple of weeks of careful discernment. Thus, the 16th will mark the anniversary of each month of living my life to the fullest in a whole new way. I refuse to treat my year of single-ness as a countdown, because it is not about falling in love with the man I will eventually marry after all of this is through or anything like that--that is not the point. I am counting up because what matters now is what I do now.

Here we go.